Thursday, 6 September 2012

Spider September.

I'm not sure what it is about September that has always filled me with dread.

I think it stems from forgotten school days - those long fun filled Summers brought to an abrupt end by the creeping presence of the coming school term. September meant change; new classes, new starts, new friends. I've never been a fan of change.

Even now, as a fully fledged adult, September still echoes an identical premise. My first chosen job role, fresh out of education is one that works alongside the UK's schools. With it comes the August lull closely followed by the dreaded September; our busiest month.

September once meant new rucksacks, stationary, lunch boxes and uniforms - all designed to inject a slight hint of excitement into what can only be described as a month of pure misery. Now, as a 23-year-old slave to the wage, I am forced to endure this endless cycle in its purest form. Even the hugely anticipated novelty of a new shirt wears off within two days.

It is amazing, when you think about it, how many elements of day to day life revolve around the inevitable term calendar and whether or not the little tikes are in school. Traffic heightens, holiday prices increase and shopping centres become busier. In my current job role, the stress levels increase and morale goes down - something I'm sure you'll see reflected in the posts I make here. I love what I do, truly I do but believe me when I say that anything that involves children and parents is a logistical nightmare. They are impossible to second guess and impossible to pacify. No matter how much of an expert you believe you are in this field, you will always be proven wrong. They will always find a way to prove you wrong. At the end of each day I am frequently left pondering exactly how it is that schools  still manage to function.

Aside from the ebb and flow of the academic calendar, September always seems to bring about the seasonal u-turn. England, if it is lucky, gets just two weeks of great Summer weather at the most and, more often than not, these two weeks occur right at the end of August; right before September arrives and obliterates all trace of blue sky and warmth. September is a thief, a selfish wanton thief on a mission to dissolve all sense of Summer happiness in order to make way for the icy onslaught of Winter. As I type this, I understand how hyperbolic I may sound but in my much needed defence, it is not just humans that seem to be affected by this jobsworth of a month.

Spider September is utterly terrifying; give me a thousand schools or a bitterly cold Autumn any day. My only explanation is that, with children condemned back to their classrooms, some higher being deems it necessary to replace mankind's punishment with a sudden plague of eight-legged devil creatures. Even they hate September enough to decide that, instead of frolicking outdoors as they do the rest of the year, they would prefer to come inside and cohabit. Maybe they are just on the lookout for new friends or feel they are doing us a favour by cleansing us of gnats, yet in reality, they bring me to the edge of a nervous breakdown year on year on year. That unrelenting fear of little legs appearing on your pillow at night, scuttling across walls at the flick of a light switch - it truly is the thing of nightmares. That feeling of complete inadequacy that consumes me every time I squeal like a small girl whilst brushing my teeth does absolutely nothing for my self esteem. I'm not even sure I could cope in a foreign country where the wildlife makes ours seem a complete joy. I wonder how they feel about us? I wonder how they feel about September? Do you think they enjoy coming inside and snuggling up to those that resent them so much or is it a case of the better of two evils - humans or the British weather?

I guess, in a nutshell, that what I'm trying to say is that I completely loathe September and everything that this damn month encompasses.

And that is how I'm feeling today.


Ms. Moon said...

God, I'm loathing today too.
Summer may be torture here in North Florida but the sense of its impending loss can still sadden me.
Humans are not logical.

Steve Reed said...

Well, let me stick up for spiders. They're not THAT bad. They keep away other bugs. And yes, I'm sure they're as scared of you as you are of them.

Having said that, I'm never happy to see one in my bathroom -- but I don't kill them. I just let them be. (In fact, I sometimes worry about whether they'll find anything to eat.)

I don't have such a dim view of September. I usually find that I'm ready for the season to change right around the time that it does!

Ellie said...

You know, i never noticed spiders (except for the stories of them told by my UK blogging friends) in my 10 years of living in London. Either I was extremely lucky, or having grown up in other parts of the world where spiders are HUGE, I didn't notice the little fellows in the UK. ;-)