My overtly dramatic life without Facebook: Day Two

What a surprise to find that a few of you actually still have little old me on your blog feeds! I'm honoured (and extremely grateful that I survived any mass culls of dormant blog spaces). Having said that, I do pride myself on being the Winona Ryder of the blog world - I always bounce back (boredom depending)..... and here I am. Anywho, it was nice of you to stop by; though I always read your blogs so it almost feels like I never went anywhere.

So ... moving on to day two without Facebook. I'd love to divulge some hyperbolic statement about how I rolled over this morning, finger poised on the Facebook app ready to start my morning routine but I'd be lying. Realistically, I haven't missed it one bit. I instinctively went to open the app once today, thought to be honest I think it was more accidental thinking it was Twitter. Feel free to believe what you wish; whichever option proves to be the source of the most gripping drama.

I'm also pleased/worried/disappointed that a grand total of 0 'friends' appear to have noticed my absence. Clearly I am overwhelmed with pure joy knowing just how much I bring to their lives. I've been careful not to engage in any Facebook related conversation, eradicating the need to blurt out that, in a fit of pure mental delusion, I removed myself from the cyber party. That'd go down well. I can almost visualise the blank expressions now. Besides, surely telling people goes against the whole 'I'm not an attention seeking prick' scenario. No, that's not me. I'm very much a 'stealthily slip out of an open window under the cover of darkness' kind of guy..... notice I purposely left out the 'and most likely break my neck' portion of that analogy.

Life goes on though as is ever the case. I'm not sure what I expected to be honest. A barrage of text messages questioning my disappearance? A sudden life affirming notion of my purpose here on earth? Peasants weeping at my door? Who knows. None of those things have happened though. Yet.

One thing I do know is that there is definitely some kind of 'check Facebook' habit instilled somewhere deep inside. Much like an ex-smoker chewing on a biro, I have this constant urge to open blue coloured apps. It doesn't matter what they are ... my brain just needs them to be blue. Not that I'm complaining - so far today I've perused my toothbrushing habits over the past year via an Oral B app I never knew I had (21st century problems when our bloody toothbrushes are linked to our phones!), practically stalked the app store, attacked Twitter to the point it now struggles to keep up and established that I can get a hot dog half price at Odeon (provided it's before November 5th) thanks to O2 priority.

Quite productive if I do say so myself.

Maybe tomorrow will see some form of 'Facebookless' mental breakdown? I'm hoping so ... it's great blog material.

If said breakdown does materialise, I have a sneaking suspicion that it may be related to extreme withdrawals from Karen in Finance's nightly dinner plan updates. I've never uttered more than a passing 'hello' in real life but seriously, I miss that shit - did she end up using the surplus mange-touts from Saturday's pork stir fry? I'm on the edge of my seat just thinking about it.

I may have to ask around tomorrow....

Deactivating Facebook

Wow.

So I haven't updated for 2 whole years? I believe I've well and truly smashed the record for my own personal blogging hiatus.

I opened the browser on my desktop Mac for the first time in forever and saw that this little old slice of Interwebs was still saved to the favourites bar ... and here I am. It's probably the ideal moment to be honest (fate is mysterious and all that jazz) as I finally took the plunge and deactivated my Facebook account tonight.

It wasn't really anything dramatic and definitely not a life-affirming decision but I watched the first episode of the new series of Black Mirror last night (check it out, it's ace) and it started the ball rolling in my brain.

Facebook has been giving me some pretty negative thoughts as of late. I was sitting there the other night with a cup of tea after work, scrolling through the endless pages of pure shite and I suddenly realised that if I judged some of my 'friends' purely on the content they post online, I would definitely not still be in touch. It's strange just how many people you know and like in real life come across as complete attention-seeking cyber idiots. I thought about how the statuses they post affect how I interact with them in real life and just how much they aid in shaping my opinion. This was more apparent when it came to work colleagues - seemingly innocuous exchanges during the day revealed themselves in more dramatic context via cryptic memes and 'time for a heavy drink' oriented statuses. I would then carry this into work and handle them slightly more delicately than maybe I would have done had I not seen their midnight cries for attention. Putting it simply; my exposure to social media affected my day to day actions.

Humans are chameleons. We are able to filter and alter our exchanges based on those present, to adapt to the current situation. How chaotic would the world be if all of our thoughts were on display 24/7? Social media removes this ability. A generalised blanket comment is made and EVERYONE sees it, thus allowing them to form their own opinions and twist their own perspectives. You lose complete control when it comes to a) knowing who has digested the information and b) what their opinion may be. I'm interested in understanding what life without Facebook is like (even if only for a short time) and whether it causes me to look at anything differently. Will I spend less time thinking about whether the current moment is 'share worthy' and focus on it's enjoyment? Will it cause me to converse directly more and share more of an interest in my friends' lives? Will people make the effort to converse more with me? Will I take less photos (probably not)? More to the point, will I start to take people on face value once again?

Even if my little experiment has little to no impact, I'm sure a welcome break from baby photos and random dinner plans will do me good. Whatever will I do to fill my time?

I doubt anyone still reads this; it's more for my own documentation more than anything else. To me, personal blogs are the internet's safe haven - wholesome slices of intelligent conversation without the need for ratings or likes. No real life connections and no danger of personal judgements or comparisons...... well, for most that is.

But if you do happen to wander by, I hope you are well and if anyone out there has undergone a similar experiment of their own, I'd LOVE to hear about it! I really don't think I'll even last the week but here goes....

Tumultuous.

I love that sound.

The sound of total silence that signals the end of the working week. Boy did I long for it this week - it has been pure hell.

I came home late last night, wanting nothing more than a shower and a duvet, only to find that Adam had invited friends over before a night on the town. Don't get me wrong, I love a good party as much as the next person but I usually like to be given a head's up. Oh, and preferably not midweek. Being ever polite, I said hi to the few that had already arrived, cooked my tea and headed on upstairs. Next thing I know, I'm being harassed by drunken people, running up and down the stairs shouting 'Hi Wayne'. I don't even know these people and it riled me. Anyway, a few harsh words have been exchanged between us over the past day and I've been chastised for being anti-social ever since. I can live with that; after all, it wouldn't be far wrong. We can't all be the same - there isn't enough solitude to go around us all.

Amidst the chaos, work has made me chuckle somewhat today. There is something about a frantic period that brings colleagues together. You're all suffering the same way and it's as if you all search for common ground. That common ground is almost always humour. I've spoken with clueless dinner ladies, scatty school business managers, angry parents and I even found myself trying to convince a child to pass the phone to their 'mummy'. Though tiring tumultuous and unrelenting, the humour always manages to shine through. I'm exhausted yet I'm happy - life could be worse.

Adam has the weekend off and, provided we actually start communicating, it will be spent recharging, forcing out this nasty head cold and hopefully grabbing a nice relaxed coffee or two in town. I really should start thinking about going down to Cambridge to see my Dad - he turned 60 last week and I haven't seen him in a while. I do worry about him down there on his own but from what I've heard, he is starting to get back into his old social routine that was left behind when he met his last partner. I've said it countless times but I really do think that leaving her was one of the best things he has ever done - it's just a shame that it caused such a major upheaval in his life (moving back, buying a new house etc etc). I do hate the fact that I live so far away and I've always said that I would move back down south in a heartbeat but it isn't just my life I'm affecting any more, there's Adam's and therefore by default, his family's. Who knows, maybe someday?

I have time I guess and, for now, life is good.

Today happened.

My predictions were correct - today was what can only be described as 'a right 'mare'.

As soon as I got into work, people pounced with inane questions (most of which they could have answered themselves) and my inbox was crammed. Top it off with ridiculous arguments between team members, countless HR issues and directors requesting stats with an hour's notice. Every time I'm feeling down, I remind myself that there are countless people out there who would kill to have a job right now and suddenly, it all seems that bit easier. I'm lucky, really lucky.

I also think I'm coming down with something. My throat feels like a meat grinder and some little red bumps have appeared at the back of my mouth. Add to that the lack of air getting through my nose and occasional light headedness and you pretty much have the full picture. Just my luck; I NEVER get ill. Never.

God I'm whingey and whiney tonight. Bore off Wayne.

With the few hours I've had to myself this evening, I've perused Ebay and purchased some more Bath and Bodyworks pocket bacs. I'm obsessed with hand sanitizers (I have them everywhere - work, the car, kitchen, bathroom) and I've been meaning to see what autumnal ones I could get my hands on for a while now. It's so frustrating as the ones I want are normally unavailable and you can't buy Bath and Bodyworks for love nor money in the UK. I almost flipped when I saw some for sale in Egypt of all places. You'd think that they had managed to get to our shores by now.

Anyway, on that note I'm going to double check that I've done everything I was meant to do, hop on up to bed and pray that my throat isn't any worse in the morning. Sod's law ay? What an irritating concept.

Back to school.

(The sky was mesmerising this evening)

Today wasn't as bad as anticipated. Yes, the phones were busy and yes, I was on my feet a lot of the time but I don't feel too exhausted. In fact, it felt like more of a 'oh, where's the time gone?' rather than 'god, this day is dragging'. To be honest, I'm expecting tomorrow and Wednesday to be sheer hell as that is when the majority of schools return. 

A few people have commented lately asking what my job is - well I'm customer service manager for the company that provides a certain cow-based product to all UK educational establishments (that was my poor attempt at being cryptic in order to avoid the company's Google alerts). I'm sure it's clear enough for you clever people. Either way, all you need to know is that term time is busy, busy, busy.

I came home slightly earlier than planned to find Adam fretting over the fact that he appears to have spent more than usual on the weekly shop. Personally, I don't get the big deal as long as it isn't over £100 or something but I'm kind of particular over what brands I prefer. I'm all for saving but if it tastes like crap then I'd rather pay more for something I'll enjoy. Adam, however, isn't quite like that and he constantly tries to trick me into going to Lidl or Aldi or suchlike. Over my dead body - those places are warehouses for the walking dead. I really don't want to have to Google my food in order to figure out what it is....

I'm determined to get a good night's sleep tonight if it's the last thing I do. I was woken ridiculously early this morning by the mother-in-law having a small panic attack over picking up Skye for the day. When we're both at work, Caroline often looks after her (if she had her way, she'd have her all the time) but she usually manages to turn it into a bigger deal than it actually is. The plan this morning was that she was going to come and get her around 10 o'clock after I'd gone to work. No such luck; she tried to rearrange plans and when I told her that it would be okay and that I'd just check on her at lunch instead, she started getting anxious and in the end cancelled her 'appointment' and came to pick her up. The mind boggles but it was definitely a waste of 30 minutes, I'll tell you that much.

And so, our beloved hound is still at Caroline's, my lunch is prepared and it's now cool enough to sleep comfortably with the windows closed. So help me god - I will sleep well tonight!

Fun times and farewells.

Yesterday was busy, busy, busy. Adam had the afternoon off so we ventured into the city centre to pick up a few things. I can hand on heart say that yesterday was the most traumatised I have ever been by a city centre visit. I know I'm somewhat antisocial but there were people everywhere and they seemed hellbent on being the most annoying as they could possibly be. Slow walking, texting in the middle of the aisles, kids everywhere - you name it. Anyway, we survived and I managed to pick up a couple of pairs of pumps and a shirt. A small miracle really.

We then went up the house that I lived in when I first moved to Lincoln after graduating uni in 2010. It was a big old Victorian house-share overlooking the common and the original housemates have remained friends ever since. It turns out that the last of us, Nikki, is now moving into her own place so we seized the opportunity to have a final cup of tea and say farewell to the house. I can't say that it was sad as it is so long since I lived there and, to be honest, I couldn't wait to get out (did I mentioned I'm somewhat antisocial?) but there was a sense of emotion at the prospect of a particular era coming to a permanent end. The house itself is so beautiful; huge, old and with all the original features but the landlord Dave doesn't really know if he is coming or going and so it has kind of fallen into disrepair. I spoke with him once and he told me that he didn't really want to be a landlord but he had trouble selling the house so it is a better of two evils for him. I really don't think he'll intervene until the place falls down. Such a shame.

We're all meeting up again at Claire's (the blonde girl leaning back) wedding in a few weeks so that should be fun. Selfishly, I really can't wait to see what it will be like as both her and her partners' families are millionaire farmers. I'm sure it will be beautiful. I also can't wait to see Nikki in a dress. I hope she's better at dress wearing than she is at keeping her eyes open in photos....

After a quick shower break, we then went back into the city for a meal with my work friends. Originally, Adam wanted to go out to celebrate his promotion but when he realised that we'd already been invited out, he seemed happy to tag along. Technically, it was our apprentice Katie's 18th birthday but you know, any excuse. We went to The Slug and Lettuce - the meal was nice but they did that annoying thing where they shove you all on the world's longest table so that you go the whole night without actually realising who is sitting at the other end. It happens on actual work events all the time and is one of my biggest pet peeves. I consoled myself by sampling every type of gin on the menu - bars seem to be really big on gin promotion this summer, not that I'm complaining. I did try one that was meant to have herbaceous notes but let me tell you, it was vile. Comparable to licking the back of a roast chicken; I kid you not. I'm still trying to rid myself of the taste.

Now I'm having a chilled Sunday ready for the dreaded start of September at work. I say a 'chilled' Sunday however I spent the best part of the morning chasing the damn dog around the nature reserve after she figured out a way to slip her lead. I swear she knows what she is doing and she always picks the most awkward times. Have you ever tried catching up with a Husky? Well don't. You'll lose. I'm now having to scrub the grass stains out of my jeans and soak my new white trainers. Such fun.

Happy Sunday all.

Baking dramas and dull days.

Before I go any further, can we just talk about the absolute television gold that occurred last night on The Great British Bake Off?

After a highly fraught technical challenge involving Tiramisu, emotions were running high as the contestants embarked on a round featuring Baked Alaska. After hours of slaving away over sponge and meringue, they were faced with the unenvious task of setting their ice cream on a boiling hot summer's day. One of my personal favourites - the lovely Irish Iain, looked as though he was doing quite well....... until the sinister Diana 'accidentally' removed his ice cream from the freezer, leaving it out on the hot worktop. Needless to say, complete drama ensued and Twitter appeared to go absolutely crazy. I've even seen a couple of ice bucket challenges in aid of 'Justice for Iain'. Throughout it all, even after the utter condemnation of Paul and Mary, he still held his own and refused to even mention that it was Diana's fault. I did try and find a clip of Diana's stealth ice cream attack but all I could find was the aftermath - equally as humorous though.

You have to laugh - we've seen wars, terrorist attacks and racist outcries yet nothing captures the nation quite as much as a sabotaged Baked Alaska. God bless Britain and its priorities!

Edit: I just read on the BBC website that Diana has now voluntarily left the show due to 'medical reasons'. Drama drama.

Anyway, back to reality. Today was one of those days that seemed to drag on relentlessly - completely uneventful and completely dull. Work is starting to pick up as the school admin assistants are starting to return after summer. I'm sure that you can tell by my tone how excited I am...

I did however treat myself to an hour's nap and a pizza tonight. I never partake in either of those things (especially the nap) so things really must have been dull.

I'm just hoping that the weekend picks up at least!

Forgotten times and gameshows.

I feel ultra cosy tonight. Nothing special, just cosier than usual. Maybe it's because I've finally started to feel caught up at work or simply because it's the only moment today in which I've been able to sit down and chill? Who knows; all I know is that I'm cosy and that shall be my word of the night.

Today was the dreaded 'Weakest Link' themed gameshow afternoon at work. We do it every year just before September (our busiest period due to the schools going back). I'm presuming that other countries have some form of The Weakest Link? Most of these successful gameshows tend to be exported to death so I'll presume you've probably heard of it. It's meant to be a kind of morale boosting exercise whilst also providing an opportunity for the customer service agents to brush up on their knowledge. It's also great for the newly recruited temps to mingle with the permanent staff. It's a always a huge success and the guys love it but my god, it takes so much planning. I've been organising it for what seems like weeks and, gratuitous whinging aside, that's easier said than done whilst also trying to the run the Customer Service Department with most of the other managers off. Needless to say, I donned my Johnny Cash attire, channelled the acid tongue of Anne Robinson and fun was had by all. I'm kind of jealous of the first place prize though - a cow shaped milk jug (not as random as it seems as we work with dairies). I almost stole it for myself.

We still have a few days left before the dreaded September where we all become slaves to the wage from 7am to 7pm so I'm going to force myself into making sure that we're fully caught up and ready. Thinking about it, I suppose it's our version of retail's Christmas after all.

Adam has just been given a promotion so no sooner had I got in this evening that we had to venture into the city to purchase some new work clothes. No rest for the wicked. Despite my insistence that he has enough clothes to open a GAP, he was adamant that he wanted something more 'managerial'. He cracks me up sometimes. As per tradition, I wandered around the other shops whilst he busied himself with clothes; bought myself a coffee and grabbed a brand new office chair that was luckily on offer in ASDA (of all places). I'm resting the old derrière on it now and I have to say, it's quite comfortable for the price. Wonders never cease as to what supermarkets will start selling next.

One of my best friends from back home (Alysha), sent me a message yesterday informing me that her cousin Marie had found an old bible in their attic full of old photos. Marie bought her house from my Nan after my Great Uncle passed away a few years ago. It had been in my family since it was built; first home to my Great Grandad before my Great Uncle. She is currently in the process of renovating it before selling and came across the find in the far corner of one of the attics. I asked Alysha to send me a couple of photos with her phone so I could see what they were of and preempt my Dad and Nan before collecting them from her. It looks as though they are from the turn of the century (1900-1925 ish) but I have no idea who the photos are of. My guess is that the little girl is most likely my Nan on her Dad's knee. As for the other photo, I have no idea who the ladies are and, strangely, the bible is addressed to a Phyllis White. I personally have never heard of a Phyllis White but that means nothing in my family. To this date, my Nan has never ever spoken of her mother and a quick call to my Dad confirmed that his Grandmother has never been mentioned to him either. He told me to go ahead and take the stuff to my Nan but he warned me to tread carefully as he isn't sure how she will react if any of it relates to her Mum. He suspects that she may not even admit it and try to pass it off as someone else's photos - obviously this is impossible as my family have been the only ones in the house previously. I know that it's a sensitive subject but I really want to know what happened with my Great Grandparents - how sad would it be if my Nan took that to the grave with her? I have a fantastic relationship with my Nan so I'm hoping she'll open up to me. Fingers crossed. I'm extremely interested to know who the soldier is in the second photo. I'm pretty sure that it must be World War I and that looks like an African uniform, maybe Egypt? To my knowledge, I've never heard of any family members fighting in the Great War so that would be quite the revelation. To be honest, I don't think that many men returned from that war at all; such a sad time for many English families.

Now, after that short history lesson and the stresses of the day, I'm all showered up and ready to hit the hay. I generally detest sleep as I feel as though I'm wasting the precious night but I have to admit that I'm extremely excited to finally get some rest. The waking up early part has not even crossed my mind yet so I'll bid you all a fond farewell before I give that sickening thought any time to manifest.

God natt alla! (as they'd say in good ol' Sweden)

Legacies.

This is what today looks like - as predicted, it has rained non-stop. I really did miss my calling as a weather forecaster. Maybe I should look into that?

Adam apparently managed to offload our old TV unit onto some unsuspecting bargain hunter on Facebook. He was supposed to pick it up today but he turned out to be a no show so I've just wasted the day watching TV. How ironic. I'm now almost done with season 2 of Gilmore Girls - my life clearly needs evaluating.

I always whinge and whine, talking about how much I love total silence so you'd think that a day of pouring rain would have given me that. Well it did, however I've failed in doing any of the things that I reserve for peaceful days. I still have the rest of Marcel Proust's Swann's Way to get through (one of my life ambitions) but I constantly forget about it. When I do remember, I find myself putting it off for another day. Don't get me wrong, I love the writing style and fluid prose but 'In Search of Lost Time' is a completely different reading experience to what we are used to. It's almost like reading as an art form and love of words rather than to read because you want to know what happens. A completely alien concept to most of us, myself included.

Adam has been at work since 6am and I have no idea when he is home as he appears to be ignoring his phone. Not that it matters; I'm sure that my position on the sofa would remain unthreatened.

On a final note, I was devastated to hear that Richard Attenborough passed away yesterday. I recognise that he was no spring chicken but it seems like I've lost several links to my beloved childhood lately. First Robin Williams who was the focal point of almost all of my favourite childhood films (back when it was normal to regularly visit the cinema on a Sunday). Then came Lauren Bacall. Before you start to wonder whether I just look good for my age, I'm aware that she wasn't directly a part of my childhood but I will always have fond memories (though not so fond at the time) of my Dad watching back-to-back John Wayne films on Sunday afternoons. He was obsessed (hence my name), but of all the leading ladies, she will always stand out for me. They seemed to have a far deeper connection on screen and, in my opinion, you don't see that kind of raw chemistry on the screen any more.

And now Richard Attenborough. Frustratingly, I had to explain to Adam that no, he is not 'the wildlife' guy but as soon as I mentioned Jurassic Park, he knew exactly who I was talking about. I vividly remember Jurassic Park when it came out and although that silly old blockbuster film was only a drop in his ocean of talents, it is the one I connect with the most. It came at just the right time in my childhood and I unashamedly admit that I was indeed one of those children, running around the playground pretending to be a velociraptor. What I wouldn't give to go back to the simple life!

The passing of these stars that, in my mind seemed immortal, reinforces the fragility of life and it really does hit home that these are real people who have done real things and lived real lives - just like you and me. I guess I need to come up with some kind of legacy sooner rather than later. I mean I'd just hate to be remembered as 'the guy who watched the entire seven seasons of Gilmore Girls in the fastest time'. Urgh.

Puppy party.

It's bank holiday weekend and as (most of) the nation prepares for a much needed day off work tomorrow, I spent the day dog-sitting.

My work organised a VIP day at the Superbikes in Cadwell - all inclusive bar, food and up close and personal in the Yamaha tent. As much as I love watching bikes whizz around a track 400 times in succession (does my sarcasm translate well in text?), I decided to sit it out. One of my colleagues Lisa, really wanted to go but she had no-one to look after her puppy Lola. Naturally I volunteered for the sake of karma.

Lola isn't even a year old yet and I completely forgot how much energy puppies have! We got Skye when she was about one so, luckily, she wasn't too much of a handful. Lola on the other hand..... well. She seemed obsessed with cuddling up to Skye and kept trying to lie beside her. After a few 'hairy' moments, Skye seemed to succumb and go along with it. She's a good egg really and has the patience of a saint. I actually quite enjoyed walking around the woods in what will probably be the last of the British sunshine. The temperature has dropped considerably and rumour has it that rain is on its way and ready to stay. It's no great surprise really - the weather usually starts to become unpredictable towards the end of August. Roll on autumn.

I guess you could say that my day has been uber-productive. I managed to watch Beverley Hills Chihuahua 2, Cinderella Story and Legally Blonde...... all because I lost the Sky remote for six hours. Okay, so maybe not that productive but at least I managed to get up early and make use of the day. I'm known for hating mornings and quite happily letting them pass by - total night owl.

The parking debacle has taken a change in direction if nothing else. After my note being on the car for several days, the girl in question eventually came to her car whilst I was in the living room earlier. She seemed to be taking a lifetime to reverse out so I was convinced she was reading the note. Upon further inspection from the upstairs window, it appears that she drove off with it still on the windscreen. There is literally no helping some people. Anyway, as per routine, she hasn't returned at all today so my guess is that she is a girlfriend from afar and visits every other week.

After taking Lola back to Lisa's this evening, I noticed that yet another car was parked over their drive way. My cries of hallelujah were, however, extremely short-lived as the car has now moved outside our house. For one split second, I actually thought they had got the message. No such luck.

God I love the human race and my awful intolerance. I hope you guys had a nice relaxed Sunday!

he hath risen.

Oh, hello there. Please don't be too shocked at seeing me on your blog-feed once again (if I'm still on any!), I've just been slightly useless at posting lately.

The reason being is that I've been trying to keep a written journal over the past few months; I bought a new Moleskine, some new pens and was determined to commit. I suppose I did in a way and I managed to write on most nights for the best part of three months. In the end, as much as I hate to admit it, I began to struggle in finding time (I'm so tired most nights after work and it's easy to forget just how long it takes to physically write a journal entry in comparison to typing one). I actually have a callous on my middle finger now which makes me feel very highbrow but I'm only human and it started to bore me. I mean you should write because you want to, not because you have to. Needless to say, I've knocked it on the head but promised myself to still physically write in my journal whenever I feel the urge or when a major life event occurs (whatever that may be). I hate myself for being a product of the modern age!

Nothing that major has happened since I last posted (probably another reason why I struggled to commit pen to paper). Summer kind of appeared for a few weeks but now seems to have disappeared once again as per tradition in this fickle weathered country. I'm not going to complain, I make no secret of the fact that I generally detest summer and feel far more comfortable during autumn/winter. Woe is me! We had a beautiful Supermoon here last week and I spent hours setting up the camera and waiting for the clouds to clear. I wasn't hugely thrilled with the results but the image above is probably the best one I got. I really do love night photography and I'm making it my mission over the new month or so to try out some new things. It's just so hard to get great results in poor light.

We holidayed in Egypt again back in July. Some of you may remember that we previously visited Egypt during winter but this time we decided to try our luck in summer. Big mistake. Think of the hottest day you could ever imagine, multiply it by ten and then imagine enduring it 24/7 for ten days. That's what it was like and it didn't seem to make a blind bit of difference whether it was night or day. Despite not being a fan of summer, I do quite like hot whether when I'm holiday (it's the different mindset that does it) so I actually very much enjoyed it. Adam on the other hand is quite a sensitive soul - he likes to think he's a sun baby but in reality he struggles and always manages to wind up with some kind of phantom heat rash whenever we go abroad. Needless to say, we survived and it was nice to just have ten days in the sun, not having to worry about anything and sipping all-inclusive cocktails. We didn't even have the sheer trauma of visiting the pyramids this time so the holiday felt very relaxed.

Now I'm sitting here watching a documentary on TLC about Stevie Nicks (major idol!) and contemplating venturing into Lincoln city centre to pick up a few things. I've actually just placed a note on one of the new neighbours' cars that seems hellbent on parking outside of our house and preventing us from parking. Despite this, they have a perfectly fine space of their own at the other end of the street. The mind boggles with some people - I think common sense is a dying trait. I do feel a bit dirty doing the whole 'note on car' thing and I would normally knock on the door but I've never even said hello - I don't want to be rude after all, I just want to give them the heads up that it causes issues for the end houses and I don't really want to make a huge thing of it. After all, some people don't realise there's a problem until you tell them (annoyingly). Even the new people over the road are already aware of it; after just two minutes of introducing myself, they asked who the car belongs to. It actually rarely moves so I'll probably be in for a long wait but I'll keep you posted. I'm just hoping that they aren't homicidal...

Comfort zones.

I've been off work this week.

Not really because I wanted to but more because I had 14 days holiday to use before the end of December. I do this every single year and end up being absent for the majority of the run up to Christmas. It sounds ridiculous but I hate being off work unless I have a valid reason such as going abroad or attending an event. Sitting at home looking for things to do just depresses me and, as much as I love him, Adam usually drives me round the twist if we spend too long in close proximity. I may have mentioned it before but he is more of a 'get up and go without thinking' and I'm more of a 'let's hold tight and contemplate the world' kind of guy. Neither is a bad thing; it can just result in chaos when combined.

I went down to Nottingham to stay with some old university friends this weekend. We do this every so often and we take it in turns to host. This time, it was Amy's turn and we spent the weekend perusing the (somewhat early) Christmas market in Derby and talking of her upcoming wedding. They've just acquired a kitten called Penny and although I am far from a cat lover, it really is the cutest kitten I have ever clapped eyes on. Just look at her; she's about the size of a child's hand! I'm under no illusions though - cats still seem like satan's minions to me....

On Tuesday, after a few days of boredom and sitting around waiting for some of Adam's Christmas presents to arrive, I decided to take a drive down to Dad's new house in Cambridgeshire. It is the first home he has bought with his girlfriend Shirley and it's lovely. It is just on the outskirts of a rural village and is absolutely huge! I knew he wanted space for when Shirley's family come to stay but I did not realise it was a family of fifty. Ridiculous but what can I say - he seems happy. I will say that Shirley acted completely differently in her own home. She is extremely stern and somewhat cutting. You know when you feel as though you are treading on eggshells with someone all of the time? Well yeah, she's like that. I'm kind of glad I live away as I can't see us getting on too well up close. She has also banished Dad's dog (who used to be mine) Stella, so that she is outside all day and is only allowed in the breakfast room for a few hours each night. Dad kind of tricked me as he said she came in at night with him whilst he watched TV (as she always has) but after visiting, I've discovered that yes she is allowed in but she has to be two rooms away. The Dad I know would never have allowed that, especially as she has her extremely irritating grandchildren wailing like banshees around the house every day, but like I said it seems things have changed. I just can't wait for Nan to visit - she's quite the whirlwind and will not tolerate that at all. I'll nervously sit and await the phone call regarding that one.

Now I'm just about ready to go back to work - which is just as well as I'm back tomorrow. No doubt I'll be greeted with 487587689786 emails, a barrage of office gossip and the usual 'how was your week off?' question but I'd be lying if I said I was dreading it. For all its tedium, I have to admit; it's my comfort zone.

Too soon, too soon.

Well winter is well and truly beginning to settle in. We've had a relatively dry year so far but I now can't remember the last time I walked to work without being drenched by drizzle. I would't mind, I mean I'm all for the joys of nature but it isn't even proper rain - it's that extremely irritating mist that hits you like a sheet of freezing cold glass. Sometimes when I arrive at work, I can't even feel my forehead. Having said that, the technique could be useful next time I feel a migraine coming on.

The shops are already decked out with Christmas paraphernalia. I have visions of shop staff waiting with bated breath until midnight after Bonfire Night, chomping at the bit to throw tinsel across the shelves. Adam loves it as Christmas could never come too early for him but I can't help but be depressed whenever I think about Yuletide in November. Is this really what we have become? Such a shallow, materialistic race of commercialists? I've banned all talk of it until December 1st and believe me, I've more than compromised. I say I've banned all talk but that hasn't stopped Adam from attempting to subtly 'christmas-ise' the house. I've already had to confiscate two wooden reindeer that appeared prematurely on the lounge shelf and a red and green doorstop that I can only presume was the fruit of one of his craft sessions. I did, however, allow the purchase of a doggie advent calendar in Sainsbury's yesterday so I'm not a complete Scrooge. Put it down to the Swedish in me - we're strictly  'Christmas in December' type people.

A spate of boredom a few evenings ago lead me to look up 'the top 50 books you should read before you die' online. I have to admit, it strongly varies from website to website and heavily depends on the nationality of the article but I've narrowed down a good list of twenty that seem to appear across the board. I'm challenging myself to read them all at least before the end of next year but I tend to read in bursts - I can go months without reading anything at all and then suddenly I'll clear a good ten novels in just a few weeks. I've started with 'To Kill a Mockingbird'. Most kids study it in school but I was lumbered with Shakespeare, Lord of the Flies, Great Expectations and The Woman in White. Ironically, due to that reason, 'To Kill a Mockingbird' is one of the very few books that Adam has read. He takes great delight in reminding me of it too - I'm eager to change that.

Hounded.

I managed to take a half decent photo of Skye a few days ago as she bathed in the evening sunset. She really isn't meant to climb the furniture but if you've ever tried to train a husky to obey you, you'll understand why we gave up. To be honest, we more than gave up - she now has her own chair. I read somewhere once that huskies prefer to be companions rather than pets and they weren't far wrong. Total diva.

Notice how she wears two tags; one blue and one pink? Well that's because myself and Adam had a huge argument over what colour collar and lead she should have. Initially it was all blue which I liked as it has obvious links to 'Skye'. One day I came home from work and everything was pink. Much to my annoyance it turned out that Adam's mum had replaced the blue theme with pink as she believed that blue wasn't right for a girl. Yes she's our dog and yes, I did calmly walk away...... using every last ounce of strength. Needless to say I'm too stubborn to completely give in and now she wears both tags and I switch her lead to the blue one when I take her out. Job done.

Browsing through the app store, I just installed an app called 'Woof' - kind of an anonymous Facebook for dogs. Don't worry, I took a look more for humour purposes than anything else and my preconceptions were confirmed when, after just 10 minutes, a 6-month-old dachshund called 'Macbumhole' added me. Oh the joys of the modern age.

Talking of dogs, I've been walking to and from work for the past several weeks due to the current insane traffic build up. They've shut a couple of main roads  (why they don't just do one after the other I'll never understand) and as a result, the whole city's traffic is trying to get down one road during peak times. I live a five minute drive from work and it was taking just over 50 minutes to get in - absolutely crazy. Now I'm walking, it takes just under twenty minutes; I feel great for it but I have to walk through the dreaded woodland and at this time of year it's comparable to running the gauntlet. Now there's a five minute window in which, if I hit the woods, I walk right into some local guy and his seven yappy Yorkshire terriers. It may not seem a big deal but believe me, it is the trauma of traumas and I curse myself repeatedly if I time it incorrectly.

To begin with, you have no idea they are there until you hear the most deafening whistle and three or four of them dart out from the bushes in front of you. They're soon joined by the others who then circle you at break-neck speed, periodically weaving in and out of your legs the whole way down the track. During this, their owner merrily picks his way through the undergrowth oblivious to the drama unfurling. It adds on a good 10 minutes to my journey time and never fails in further ruining my already sorry looking shoes.

On the bright side, it has become quite the joke at work now and my colleagues have already started keeping tally of our encounters (one look at my shoes provides a tell-tale sign). I suppose the only other alternatives are cycling and public transport?

I think I'll just take my chances with the dogs.

Gunpowder, Treason & Plot.

Even if I had just awoken from a year long coma, I would still know that it is the 5th of November tomorrow. Walking home from work this evening, I could already smell the pungent stench of bonfire in the bitterly cold autumn air. Fireworks have been going off for days now so they are no real surprise - they're one of those things that people need very little excuse to let off. I've never quite got the appeal but I suppose it's something to do with man's obsession with fire; the somewhat prettier equivalent of a BBQ.

In favour of a quieter, more chilled out November 5th (complete with V For Vendetta, naturally), we got our celebrations out of the way with yesterday. Adam bought a few fireworks, hotdogs and marshmallows and even managed to haul the fire pit out of the garage ready for the neighbours coming over.

We messed around with sparklers, laughed at Adam's horrendous attempt at a Catherine Wheel and came to realize exactly why it is that I'll never entertain the idea of having children. Don't get me wrong, they're great kids but they seem to require constant attention, wreak havoc on everything they touch and are able to throw what are quite possibly the biggest tantrums I've ever seen (and you haven't seen Adam's!). God love them.

I did try my hand at some firework photography but I doubt things could have gone any worse than they did. The wind was blowing a gale and with it came rain. I had no idea how to use Adam's tripod and he seemed hellbent on letting the fireworks off without telling me which direction they would travel. Needless to say, I missed 98% of them. Better luck next time I guess?

Now I'm treating myself to an early night. I've been ridiculously tired lately to the point I just feel like laying down and sleeping part way through the day - very un-wayne like. I blame Adam's irritating snoring and constant teeth-grinding that goes on all night. I've decided that the only solution is to ensure I'm in bed by 10 to help catch up.

Having said that, I am already 9 minutes over but who's counting?

A surprising Halloween.

I hope everyone had a fantastic Halloween! Despite being English, I have a ridiculous love of the Halloween season; part of me even prefers it to Christmas. Maybe it's the heathen in me? Who knows.

Usually we get dressed up and go out partying but Adam was working this year so I opted for a quiet night in alone with horror films and pumpkin carving. I say a quiet night but it actually turned into one of the most exhausting nights I've had in many months. I have never seen so many trick or treaters in my entire life!

To the Americans, the presence of trick or treaters probably won't come as a surprise but here in Britain it has never really taken hold the way it has across seas. If you're lucky (or unlucky), most houses will probably only get one or two but within 2 hours I managed to get through 75 bags of Haribo - literally raped by Halloween. I knew that we would probably get more in this new house what with living in the suburbs near lots of families and the ever increasing popularity of Halloween each year. I loved it - the families looked amazing dressed up and the street came alive. Weirdly, you don't see many house decorated for Halloween but of the 7 houses in our street, 5 were decked out. I hope the trend continues, it's such a fun time of year and I'm extremely jealous of the US when it comes around. I just need to be better equipped next year - finding extra stock of emergency sweets in the local shop at 6pm on Halloween is virtually impossible.

We put all of our creative efforts into decorating at work. It was a lot easier this year as the schools have been off for half term which means it was pretty quiet. It actually gave us a great distraction from an otherwise boring two weeks. I donned an old Batman top that I made whilst at university, taped some bin liner wings to the arms and graced everyone with my make-shift bat effort. I'd be lying if I said the wings weren't insanely annoying. They got caught everywhere; toilet door, between my chair arms and the desk, under cups etc etc. Deep joy.

 

Next up is November 5th - Guy Fawkes night. Fireworks have already started going off and I've started to smell one or two bonfires. I can't say I've ever been particularly fond of Bonfire Night. It annoys me that one of Britain's main 'must celebrate' events takes place in the darkest depths of Winter and celebrates someone being hung, drawn and quartered. Let's just say I don't see the appeal of being crammed in a cold, wet field amongst thousands of people whilst they burn an effigy in memory of a public execution. Childhood memories of it is another thing - Catherine Wheels getting stuck on the garden fence, Dad launching rockets in the wrong direction and burning my rain-soaked fingers on sparklers. Sigh.

Anyway, I need to stop being a killjoy - Adam is already talking about buying a few fireworks and inviting our neighbour over for hotdogs and marshmallows. Happy face at the ready!

Nettleham Hall.

For those that were worried (humour me), I can confirm that I am in fact not dead, I've just been slightly M.I.A for a while. Not to worry, I'm back now and far more inclined to actually post thanks to my shiny new iMac (a slightly impulsive and extravagant purchase but motivational nonetheless).

On Sunday, we took my new camera for its first real outing as I've been bugging Adam for weeks to take me somewhere worth photographing. I'm not from this county originally and struggle to make my way into the centre of town, let alone discover points of interest.

We ended up at the ruins of the derelict 'Nettleham Hall', situated about 15 minutes from where we live. I can't believe I have lived here this long without realising such a fantastic place existed just down the road. From what I can figure out from Google and Adam's Grandad, the hall itself was the seat of power for the Hood family; more notably John Hood who accompanied General Monk from Scotland in 1660 in attempting to restore Charles II to power. Reports are vague but the hall was 'mysteriously' destroyed by fire in 1937.

I'm not going to lie, it is quite possibly the eeriest place you could ever wish to visit. Smack bang in the heart of dense, silent woodland and overgrown by vines - I can think of nothing worse than visiting at night. Just before the hall itself, is a little groundsman's cottage. You can still make out some of the wallpaper detail in the front room and the remnants of a kitchen. I'd give anything to see photos of what it used to like but alas, it appears no real photos survived.

Not too much exists of the hall itself except the main wall structure, archways, some plaster detail and the cellars. The whole thing has a sort of creepy 'Indiana Jones/Tomb Raider' feel.

I discovered online that it is quite the hotspot for enthusiasts of derelict places (yes there is such a phenomenon) and that many visitors have been chased away by a particularly aggressive farmer. Luckily, we didn't experience that pleasure.

We've toyed with the idea of visiting the abandoned Nocton Hall next but something about visiting a derelict RAF hospital makes me feel slightly uncomfortable. After all, those kinds of excursions never end well in horror films. Watch this space; you never know how persuasive Adam can be.

Now I'm off to catch up on all of your blogs to see how you've all been getting on. I guess we'll see if this storm materialises that everyone has been banging on about. My personal guess is that it won't touch us up here. Damn the sensationalised weather reporting in this country.

It finally arrived!

I guess this means more photos which in turn means more blogging? You never know.

Watch this space.

Only if your name isn't Tyler.

What a dull, boring day. A very hot and sunny day but boring nonetheless.

I'm really not cut out for this 'being off work' lark. I've come to the self realisation that I'm one of those people; the type that would rather be a slave to the wage than dossing around the comfort of their own home. I suppose I like the structure, the routine - the idea that I'm making myself useful (to someone anyway). Maybe I should join the military? Maybe not.

Have any of you guys seen the segment on 'This Morning' from yesterday that has gone viral? Katie Hopkins (ex-apprentice candidate that famously told Lord Sugar that she did not want to be hired and now makes a name for herself being controversial and occasionally obnoxious) argues the point that she judges parents based on their children's names. Naturally everyone is shocked and appalled. It is all over the papers, TV, web and Facebook (obviously). Holly Willoughby, the nation's sweetheart has done well out of it - defending the working class and batting her eyelids. Katie on the other hand is pretty much being chased out of the country with burning pitchforks. That's what happens when you choose primetime morning television to air your views folks.

Obviously I don't agree with her and I'm more offended at how incapable she seems to be when it comes to arguing an opinion but I'd be lying if I said I didn't mentally judge parents when I hear them shouting their children's names. I'm always open to being proven wrong and would never treat any human being differently but I would definitely still make that silent judgement - as would the majority of the population. To say that you would go to the extremes of preventing your own children from playing with them however, is just absurd. I mean my own name, Wayne, would most likely be deemed as sounding 'lower class'. She personifies everything that is wrong with the right-wing upper-middle class and the video is well worth a watch, if only for the reactions.


Besides that and watching Adam mow the neighbours' lawns this morning, it has been an extremely slow and monotonous day. Maybe tomorrow will bring further excitement?

Have a great night everyone!

Playing Doolittle.

As mentioned in my previous post, we travelled up to the seaside town of Bridlington in Yorkshire on Monday to visit Park Rose Animal Park. Adam found a meerkat and owl experience on Groupon so seeing as it was our week off, we decided to branch out.

The park itself is not anywhere near the coast, in fact, it is pretty much in the middle of nowhere. It's extremely small, family owned and you get a real sense that they are purely doing it for the animals and the fact that people can visit is just a bonus. I'd much rather give my money to a place like that than one of these huge safari parks.

We watched a bird of prey show and then they took us into the meerkat enclosure where we got to play and feed them mealworms. If I learned anything that day, it's that meerkats may look cute but my god are they vicious. I was the only person wearing shorts and every time they scurried behind me, I had visions of my shins being ripped apart. 

   

We were then allowed to hold what seemed like 100 different owls. I've never been much of an owl fan (that's my Dad's department) but I have to admit, seeing them up close has brought a new sense of adoration. They're so beautiful.

Despite the meerkats and owls, I'm embarrassed to say that the highlight of my day was when the guy showed us his ferret enclosure. They were white albinos just like Moomin and extremely docile as the mother had just given birth. I was surprised by how everyone in our guide party seemed genuinely interested by them - there's usually always one that screams in repulsion. Poor little things, they have such a bad rap.

All in all it was a great day and the weather held out long enough. We've literally had no summer so far this year at all. If I'm honest, I can't say it has bothered me too much, it'd just be nice to know what to wear when you wake up each day. Such is life.

I hope all of my American buddies are having a wonderful July 4th! Have a drink for me (or two) and enjoy those amazing fireworks I see pop up on the blogosphere at this time of year. We have to wait until November 5th for fireworks; in the depths of winter wrapped up to within an inch of our lives, all to celebrate some idiot that failed to blow up a building. Not that I'm bitter....

Not at all.